​”Time and tide wait for no man”

If you asked me a few years back what I was scared of I would have blurted out spiders and heights as I’m sure would many another. Others may say flying, small spaces, drowning or you may even hear the odd irrational fear of feathers! But whatever your phobia is, rational or irrational, it’ll be very real to you. My fears have never been fully fledged phobias but more a strong dislike of something, enough to give me the shivers when I think about it! Recently though, I’ve come to realise I’ve found a new fear, it’s called Gerascophobia. Have you heard of It? It’s the fear of growing old.

Let me explain… remember when you were at school and when the summer holidays eventually came around it felt like they lasted an eternity? But now as an adult you literally blink and another week has whizzed on by. I mean we’re nearly already half way through 2017, yet it feels like only yesterday I was nursing a very sore head through the 1st of January. And talking of being an adult when did that suddenly occur? Last Birthday I turned 30 and I’m still trying to fathom where exactly the 10 years of my twenties vanished to. Let me tell you, the realisation that I really will be 40 before I know it is pretty damn strong! But what really pushes the aging process to the fore front of my mind is seeing those older than me age. My parents being one, but skipping them we’ll move to my grandparents.

Once you’re into your eighties time seems to travel even faster and it does something strange, it deteriorates you, like an old piece of metal corroding. And there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. Once you’re in your eighties 1 year can age you by 3 and it isn’t pretty; and I’m not talking about the physical appearance.  You become a shadow of your former self, mentally and physically, you can’t do the things you used to be able to do and should be able to do. We rely on our health, our mobility and our minds every second of every day, so to watch our loved ones quite literally disintegrate before us is torturous. And once you get to that age, any medicine is quite literally prolonging the inevitable. I feel like we all need our own self destruct button so once we hit that age of no return we can simply push the button and let the credits roll…  The End.

Morbid? No, not at all. I am looking at my grandparents with a fear of what is to come for me and my loved ones – Dementia, cancer, stiff aching bodies, poor mobility, partially blind, partially deaf, scaling dry sore skin, depression, heart conditions, constant bruising and cuts that don’t heal. It’s just all part of getting old I hear you say…. maybe, but I can assure that sends shivers straight through me!

Aging highlights even more to live life to the full, enjoy every moment, enjoy every day and live life with no regrets. One thing’s for sure, when I’m 80 plus I don’t want to be sitting in the chair in the corner of a dark room wishing I had followed a dream and done more with my life.

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